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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 其它劇本 >

          雙簧《如此炒作》

          2014-05-04 22:35 來源:未知
            甲:首先一上臺呀,我給在做各位觀眾朋友們,老師,同學們送上一份最真摯的祝福,我祝大伙兒在新的一年里,一帆風順,雙喜臨門,三羊開泰,四季平安,五谷豐登,六六大順,七星高照,八方來財,九九歸一那是十全十美,百事可樂,千事順心,萬事如意,在做的各位觀眾朋友們,給不給掌聲大伙隨意。
            那么接下來我們給大家帶來的是,我們最新的創作的一個原創雙簧,原創雙簧的名字叫做《如此炒作》,在做各位,喜歡我這個節目嗎?喜歡的話!大伙給鼓勵,鼓勵呀!
            待會兒呀表演雙簧的時候,是我在后邊說,我搭檔在前邊演,哎!從遠處一看,跟一個人似的,這就需要兩人配合的十分默契。啊?你問我搭檔在哪呢,嗨!他現在正在后臺化裝呢,各位,中國不是有一句俗語說的好嗎,人陪衣服馬配鞍,人不到叱不漂亮,這人一到叱以后,您在看看我這位搭檔長得跟仙女似的,哎喲!他來了,大伙看看!喲!怎么長得跟只猴似的的!好!接下來請欣賞原創雙簧《如此炒作》!
            
            不看不曉得,一看直打嗝;如今的媒體的炒作“嚇”死人,看完以后我直打嗝,打嗝打出了“肺結核”!嗝!嗝嗝!肺結核!我們一起來打嗝,打多了就有肺結核了!
            沒事干,拿份娛樂周刊消遣,消遣。(唱)我看一看,那個看一看,看看我的夢中情人上報了沒;我看一看,那個看一看,某個名星她又紅杏出了墻。難怪現在媒體太可惡,全是炒作來幫助,無中生有是常套路,八卦消息惹人吐!我吐,我吐,我死勁的吐;吐,吐,ME吐,ME吐吐,ME吐吐吐!
            甲:你給我出來,我估計我吃了什么不干凈的東西了,一上臺我就吐,我估計照這樣子吐下去,我是見不到我的夢中情人了。別吐了,接著來吧!
            正所謂明知山有虎,偏向虎山行,我今天倒要看看這媒體是如何炒作的。他是先放油炒啊,還是先放肉炒;是胡編亂炒,還是降龍十八炒!看一看就知道了,打開電視看看娛樂頻道。
            大家好!我是八卦消息臺的記者,今天有兩位著名男影星連手合作的新片發布會,在發布會的現場,兩位男影星眉來眼去,眉目傳情,過度的親熱,并且還有肢體的接觸,據說兩人關系特別,可能有同性戀的傾向。這不胡說八道嗎!換臺,我看別的娛樂消息,這個臺不錯,“明星隱私大暴光”。誒!這倒是個新鮮詞,沒看過,瞧一瞧!親愛的朋友們,請伴隨我們的鏡頭走進明星的臥室,讓我們看看任賢齊為什么擁有美麗的睡姿;張曼玉睡覺干嘛不蓋被褥;周潤發午睡為什么總打呼嚕;張學友為什么老穿內褲。啊?這種娛樂消息實在太不可靠,一打官司就成被告,換臺。看看這個臺。哦!這是無事生非娛樂臺,特大消息,著名笑星***,據傳聞,他可能是男的,也可能是女的,那么他到底是男的還是女的呢?聽聽現場的人的看法。站在左邊的朋友說他是男的,站在右邊的朋友說他是女的,怎么會是女的女,因為他站在那楚楚動人,回牟一笑嚇死人,引無數男人盡折腰!哦!也有一些朋友們大聲叫喊說他既不是男的也不是女的,有些朋友就問了,他既不是男的也不是女的,那他是什么呢?答案的確很讓人非常的吃驚。啊!問我他到底是什么呀!大家一致認為他是長期內分泌失調!
            甲:啊!你給我出來吧!
            乙:就到這了!
            甲乙:謝謝大家!
            (完)
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