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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 其它劇本 >

          雙簧《宿舍悄悄話》

          2014-05-04 22:36 來源:未知
              群口雙簧《宿舍悄悄話》

              上傳日期:2007-1-10 上傳: 未知 人氣: 2030

              -

              開場白:今天表演一個群口雙簧,,這個群口雙簧是在群口相聲的基礎上得以啟發的,要說到這雙簧呀可有意思了,它要求一個在前面表演,另一個在后邊說臺詞,從遠處一看呀,跟一個人似的,這就要求兩人的表演要非常的有默契,非常的配合,要不然雙簧就不叫雙簧了。趕緊,趕緊,化化裝,正所謂人陪衣服馬配鞍,人不到成不漂亮,這人一到成以后,咱們在看看,還不如不到成呢!接下來給大家帶來的是我們的一個新作叫《宿舍悄悄話》,希望大家喜歡!

              甲“如果女孩都獻出一份愛,孤單男孩將變多么的美好,啦啦啦,啦啦拉,啦啦啦,睡不著”。

              乙:喂喂喂,干嗎呢?大半夜還讓不讓人睡覺了,這都新社會了,怎么舊社會剝削勞動人民那一套——半夜雞叫還存在呀!更何況就這嗓子還不如雞叫的聲音好聽呢!怎么了,睡在上鋪的兄弟,有什么煩惱,說說吧!

              甲:別說了,還不是為了女人,不!準確的講是女孩!又吹了!

              乙:又吹!這都第幾個了,宮成良田都比不過你呀,我看你快趕上櫻木花道了,我說不就是女人嗎?少了她,男同胞們就活不成了?

              丙:就是!還是我們舍長想的開,如今這年頭,沒錢就別想找GF,更何況咱們宿舍都是窮光蛋,實象點吧,難道讓女孩子跟我們去喝西北風去呀!

              丁:我暈!有西北風喝那還算好的呢!最起碼還能畫餅充饑,最可怕的是有沒有西北風喝那還是個問題呀!何必為一個女人而煩惱!不過話說回來,這回又是什么原因而導致“孔雀東南飛”的呀!上次好像是因為你沒男人味,越看越像老太太。

              甲:老太太怎么了,這才體現我長的超凡脫俗嗎!充分的證明那句話!

              丙:哪句話呀!

              甲:男人的一半是女人嗎!

              乙:天那,你還覺得自豪是吧!我們宿舍的臉都給你丟光了!這回呢!又為了什么!是沒錢呀還是沒色呀?

              甲:這回吧是我的長相惹的禍!她說我遠看像潘長江,近看像趙本山,左看像曾自偉,右看像趙傳,我簡直是個“四不相”。

              丙:咳!直說你丑不就完了嗎!

              甲:這不傷我自尊嗎?我是有點丑,可是我很溫柔呀!

              乙:溫柔倒沒看出來,就你這丑勁,快可以趕上花果山的那些猴了!

              丙:他要是孫猴還好著呢!丑有什么了不起,大不了七十二變,變個帥小伙,去迷倒咱們大學的MM們!:順便在給哥們介紹幾個!

              丁:我可不要,MM和ONLINE我選者后者,我對MM不感興趣。

              甲:別老說我的不是呀!對了!年第快到了!大伙有什么打算呀!

              乙:睡覺!在夢里去見我的神仙姐姐!現實生活太虛偽,講吃講穿真后悔,在我的眼里見誰看誰都像只孤魂野鬼,干脆眼不見心不煩,在夢中和我的神仙姐姐去送水!

              丙:舍長,不是我說你,一天到晚就知道誰,吃了就睡,睡了就吃,也不見你胖,你這不是浪費國家的糧食嗎?你對的起咱學校食堂的大嬸嗎?說真的得干點事實呀!年底快到了,這么多活動,就沒一個你看的上的嗎?

              丁:我想去參加咱們學校的迎新晚會!我可聽說,亮女可多了,說不定憑我的魅力還能泡上一個兩個的!

              甲:剛才是誰說對MM不感興趣的!這回就馬上改口了!真是“男人心,海底深”。

              乙:這不文盲嗎?虧你還讀了2年的大學,怎么說出的話這么沒水準呀!什么叫“男人心,海底深”,正確的是“女人心,海底深”。知道不!

              丁:舍長教訓的是!我有個注意!到不如,平安夜的那天晚上,我們出去外面旅館去住!咱們也去享受一下3星級酒店的滋味,怎么樣?

              甲:什么?去外面開房間,就咱們幾個大老爺們。

              乙:喊什么呀?別把宿舍管理員給找來了,沒見過事面,大驚小怪,老土!

              丙:我看這個提議行,反正那晚大多數都是一對一對的過圣誕節,我們4光棍也總得找點事做吧!我覺的光住酒店還不夠,因該先去大吃一頓,吃火鍋怎么樣?

              丁:別說了,我現在口水都流出來了。

              乙:沒出息,不就是一頓火鍋嗎!如果在來兩瓶酒的話,你是不是馬上就起床開吃呀!就知道吃!

              甲:舍長!到時可以帶家屬嗎?

              乙:帶家屬的錢你出,不能算在光棍4人組的帳里!

              甲:知道了,這還用說嗎!

              乙:太晚了,明天還要早起呢!

              丙:做早操呀!

              丁:幾點做呀!

              乙:要不說干什么都不記點事呢!6點呀!

              甲:舍長!幾點做?

              丁:喊這么大聲干嗎呀!要死呀!

              乙:6點呀!都別說話了,睡覺!

              甲:舍長我看誰都別睡了。

              乙:怎么了!

              甲:剛才我看了一下表,現在已經是5:60了!

              乙丙丁:啊!起床!做操!

              甲:做操!命苦呀!
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