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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 相聲劇本 >

          《我的公司》

          2014-05-04 22:00 來源:未知

          我的公司

            ---2011級 周雪

            人員要求:甲 乙(暫定均為倆女生)

            甲:大家好,現在由我們兩個給您聊一會。我們兩個呢,是學說相聲的···小小學生

            乙:不懂的很多

            甲:說的不到的,您多包涵。(甲乙一起拱手)

            甲:這對口相聲一般都是男男合作或男女合作。出現今天這種局面···

            乙:怎么了?

            甲:主要是為了考慮我校男女比例2: 1 的校情和我國男同胞大于女同胞的基本國情而定的

            乙:跟國際接軌

            甲:說不定這女女相聲越來越火,到時候我倆就是鼻祖啊

            乙:可以流傳千古了

            甲:先做自我介紹,我叫xxx

            乙:沒錯

            甲:這是我的搭檔xxx

            乙:是我

            甲:我們是xx系xx專業的學生

            乙:對

            甲:哎,最近真是郁悶

            乙;怎么了?這上來就嘆氣!

            甲:最近比較煩

            乙:何處此言啊!

            甲:你掛科了嗎?

            乙:這事啊。掛了,兩科著呢!

            甲:不錯啊

            乙:你呢

            甲:一科沒掛

            乙:那你愁什么啊

            甲:我一科沒掛,其余的全掛了

            乙:天啊,你掛了6科

            甲:呵呵···(苦笑)

            乙:您真是人才(無奈的搖搖頭)

            甲:英語要重修

            乙:不是低于30重修嗎

            甲:我17分啊

            乙:怪不得

            甲:英語老師瘋了

            乙:要我也會

            甲:她拿著卷子,沖我大吼

            乙:吼什么啊

            甲:你是不是知道答案

            乙:什么意思?

            甲:(學老師的樣子,無奈的歇斯底里的吼)你不知道答案怎么能把75道選擇題只選對5個

            乙:那這才6分啊,還有一分呢?

            甲:不是有一道題叫選詞填空嗎?

            乙:你選對一個?

            甲:沒有,我以為翻譯呢!我把它翻譯了一遍···(內疚的笑)然后老師看著心疼我,就給我一分

            乙:奇才啊!您怎么翻譯的

            甲:其實也沒怎么翻譯,就是在英語句子下面默

            寫了一篇《桃花源記

            乙:啊~

            甲:上》

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