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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 相聲劇本 >

          《墮落的大學佚事》

          2014-05-04 22:01 來源:未知

            甲:各位領導

            乙:各位老師

            甲:各位同學

            甲乙:大家好

            甲:感謝大家給帥哥我一個人的掌聲,謝謝大家啊

            乙:什么叫給你的,就你還帥哥呢衰哥還差不多

            甲:呦期末掛科拉,不高興啊,那好在座的各位咱給這位蛤蟆先生點掌聲謝謝

            乙:你什么意思,挑火是嗎?你才蛤蟆呢

            甲:您別激動,今不是高興嗎?開個玩笑,逗大伙一樂,不過你長得確實很像蛤蟆的啊

            乙:真是的,你還說

            甲:咱倆給大伙好好說一段相聲,得對得起觀眾的掌聲不是

            乙:這倒是

            甲:今天呢我們哥倆初次登臺說相聲,可以說是處女裸體秀

            乙:吁吁吁你怎么什么都敢說啊,你看下邊多少男生眼睛冒光了嗎

            甲:怎么了?

            乙:什么處女裸體秀啊,你最近上蒼老師課上多了吧,那叫處女作品秀

            甲:是嗎?

            乙:行了別問了,還不嫌丟人啊

            甲:那好今天咱就好好說,天津是相聲之鄉,無論老少對這個相聲的品位都很高啊我們這純屬班門弄斧

            乙:沒錯

            甲:這樣吧,咱倆就說點咱身邊的事

            乙:什么事

            甲:咱們都是大學生,當然是咱大學的趣事拉

            乙:好啊

            甲:這大學啊不比其他學校,這是一個充滿機遇與挑戰的地方,咱入學也有半年多了吧

            乙:是

            甲:還記得入學時的場景嗎

            乙:那當然記得,可以說是井井有序,互幫互助,老師和同學都很辛苦,在此感謝那些老師和學長學姐了

            甲:不過啊這好的外表下啊也有一些趣事

            乙:你給說說

            甲:開學時,人最多,最忙的你知道是哪嗎

            乙:火車站啊

            甲:沒錯,火車站。那里有好多學長學姐在那里接新生,有些學長啊就想趁機會結識幾位漂亮的小學妹

            乙:這倒是有

            甲:那天啊,一個學長在車站幫一個學妹搬行李,當然只給漂亮的學妹搬啊,你這樣的貌似都沒人理,

            乙:別說我說事,

            甲:呦,還有點自知之明,那行李很沉,學長背了不遠啊,就背不動了想放下歇會,沒想剛放下,那個小學妹就回

            頭對學長說了句,背不動你就滾。。。。學長當場石化。。。

            乙:哎呀,幫個忙還挨罵

            甲:其實學妹是想說你背不動,旅行箱有輪子可以滾動

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