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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 相聲劇本 >

          《明天過后》

          2014-05-04 22:02 來源:未知

            甲:這回輪到我們兩個來表演。

            乙:是。

            甲:希望通過我們的表演,給您各位帶來笑聲。希望每一個人都能過得平平安安。

            乙:這是我們的心愿。

            甲:最近倒是不太平,大家都知道,我們的鄰國日本地震了。9.0級地震,還有海嘯,聽說死傷兩萬多人!聽說這件事,我心里這個……

            乙:難過啊。

            甲:高興啊!

            乙:這不對啊!人家地震你怎么高興啊?那都是無辜的生命,你這是幸災樂禍啊?

            甲:討厭你們這些人,不愛國!日本那是我們的仇人,我恨不得把他們都震死?同情日本,你日本人吧?對,你還起個日本名字!

            乙:誰日本名字啊?

            甲:我跟你說,我這人就這么愛國!我就是恨日本,凡事跟日本沾邊的東西我都恨。我正琢磨著呢,突然我手機響了,(索尼手機鈴聲)。

            乙:你等會吧。你不是恨日本嗎?怎么還用索尼手機啊?

            甲:我這……寸了!

            乙:什么叫寸了?你這么愛國,還用日本手機?

            甲:我……我這叫勿忘國恥!

            乙:還這能對付。

            甲:喂?媽,什么事?日本地震了您知道嗎,美得我啊!什么?納尼?

            乙:還會日語呢。

            甲:日本呦!你要挺住啊!你要堅強!我要祈禱全日本平安!你們要度過災難!

            乙:怎么回事?你剛才不是還祝愿日本沉沒嗎?

            甲:我……我表弟他們兩口子去日本旅游了,就在仙臺!你什么去日本不好非得這時候去!

            乙:你不是愛國嗎?表弟出事了就不愛國了?

            甲:那可是我表弟啊!從小一塊兒長起來的,手足情深啊,我能不惦記他嗎?

            乙:這位倒是重感情。

            甲:再說了,我表弟剛娶那媳婦可不錯,年輕漂亮。你說當初你要是自己去日本多好,你出事了把你媳婦托付給我啊?這回全沒戲了,我那弟妹呦!

            乙:你到底是心疼表弟還是心疼他媳婦啊?

            甲:當然是媳……表弟!表弟!我趕緊開電視,正看見海邊一具具的尸體,我一個一個的找,這里面有沒有我表弟啊?

            乙:電視畫面那么小,能看得清人臉嗎?

            甲:我那時45

            寸的,再說了松下電視看得特清楚!

            乙:電視也是日本的?你不是恨日本嗎?

            甲:我……我這叫勿忘國恥!

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