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          您所在的位置: > 劇本合作 > 小品劇本 >

          小品《應聘》

          2014-05-04 21:20 來源:百度貼吧
          人物:應聘男,接待女,面試官女,終極boss男。
          應聘男上場,電話鈴聲響起,應聘男接電話。
          應聘男:喂,您好,對,對,我是叫石斑,對,拼音 縮寫是sb,對,對,我是個男的。您聽不出來嗎? 哦,您視力不好啊!那跟這有什么關系?哦,您耳朵 也不好使啊!啊,不用男的啊,哦,那麻煩您了! 應聘男掛掉電話。 
          應聘男(對觀眾):耳朵不好還能當客服,真是三百 六十行,行行出狀元!女人在哪塊都吃得開!哎,你 說,現在找工作咋就這么難呢?找客服吧,人家不要 男的!找保安吧,人家不要矮的!找服務員吧,人家 不要黑的!你說奇怪不奇怪,還反問我,說我的上一 代之間發生了什么?你說我容易嗎?老天給了我一個 亞洲人的身體,配了一個非洲人的臉有錯嗎?我氣得 在背后罵了他三個小時!我想來想去,還是找銷售 吧。這不,到了,我得去應聘了!
          應聘男推開門。
          接待女:您好!
          應聘男:您好,姑娘!
          接待女:媽呀,你管誰叫姑娘呢?
          應聘男:哦,對不起,小伙子! 
          接待女:你管誰叫小伙子啊?我是女的看不出來嗎? 
          應聘男:看出來了,你不是不讓我叫你姑娘嗎? 
          接待女:姑娘是父母稱呼閨女的,叫我小姐!
          應聘男(猥瑣):嘿嘿嘿,小姐!
          接待女:怎么這么別扭!哦,對了,您是來干什么 的? 
          應聘男:我是來應聘的! 
          接待女:哦,您是來應聘什么崗位的?
          應聘男:小姐!
          接待女:啊?
          應聘男:啊,不是,我是那個來應聘銷售的。
          接待女:哦,那您先填張表吧! 
          接待女遞給應聘男一張紙和一支筆。 
          應聘男接過紙和筆,開始填表。
          接待女按下電腦播放 鍵并伴著歌聲跳著不知名的舞蹈,接待女不時踩應聘 男的腳。
          應聘男:不是那個小姐,咱能不能不跳了,你這會功 夫都踩我腳5次了!
          接待女停下動作。
          接待女:不是,你腳這么大,誰一走一過不踩著啊?
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